Four years has gone by since I have wrote in my blog on my life experiences with my Med El cochlear implant. There have been many incredible life changes in my journey since then, but the three biggest changes of all for me was graduating college with a degree to become a physical therapist assistant, pass my boards to practice as well as go through interviews to finally receive an full-time job offer. I have grown in many ways during all of those changes, especially proving to myself I am capable of achieving anything when I put my mind and heart into my passions. For instance, PTA school was no easy feat for me, challenging me every way possible as a Deaf student, mom, and wife. I had to learn to balance a full-time student schedule with a busy family life, and find the time to take care of myself, which I did not do much of. The support I had from my family over those three years was incredible, my dream would not of been possible without my family. I loved school, as hard as it was, my professors were amazing always making sure I was hearing what was lectured as well as supporting my CART services I used throughout my time in college. My lectures and labs were real time captioning, a service I am extremely grateful for. I also developed close friendships in PTA school that have continued out of school, and without those amazing ladies I do not know how I would of survived all those semesters. We worked together through many study groups and supported each other when times were difficult. I will never forget the day I walked across stage to receive my diploma, and I told myself, "You did it girl, a dream you believed in happened.", yes I cried, many happy tears.
I still had two other challenges left, pass my boards, and find a job to practice as a physical therapist assistant. After many months of studying and stressing about the boards, I was extremely excited when I found out I passed my boards. In fact, I screamed so loud when I found out I passed, I believe I woke up my entire neighborhood that night. I was beyond excited to begin my journey as a physical therapist assistant, but first I had to find a job. As I was sending my resume out waiting for emails, or phone calls for an interview, I became anxious since I would be entering the work force again after 12 years. New fears of how do I bring my cochlear implant up in an interview, and what challenges do I face in the work force with my cochlear implant? After discussing my fears with other professionals, and learning how to conduct myself in an job interview my confidence grew. I also had moments of doubt when I did interview and did not receive a job offer, but I do feel each one of those interviews prepared me for the one interview where I received a full-time job offer. I am LOVING my job and company I work for, and I am extremely blessed to have this amazing opportunity.
One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is to believe in myself, easy to say but hard to do. I am a perfectionist, always striving to be the best, and at times it is exhausting. I believe I instilled the perfectionist role since I was little girl, because I always wanted to be more than my Deafness. Daily I have to work on letting go of what I can't control, accept what is, and know it is ok to not be perfect. Having a disability doesn't mean a dream or goal can not happen, as I have learned throughout my life, if you want something bad enough find a way to make it happen. My Deafness has taught me more about myself than I could ever imagine, some good and some bad, but the one thing I have taught myself, don't give up when challenges are hard, keep moving forward, and always BELEIVE.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Another year has pass by
My blog has not been updated in almost a year, and I feel now is the time to fill in on how my life has been the past two years wearing my cochlear implant. As I was looking back, reading my old blogs I loved how excited I was when new sounds were processed through my implant. For example, the sounds of the logs cracking in the fireplace, or the laughter of my children, are moments I remember vividly to this day. Wearing hearing aids compressed sounds, which made every voice, noise sound the same. A great way to illustrate this, imagine the keys of the piano, I heard all the low tones of the keyboard, now I hear all the keys. However, I am not cured or considered a "normal" hearing person. Everyday there are still struggles I encounter being Deaf, but my implant helps me live a better quality life. Furthermore, God truly has given me his blessing, since I am now able to experience life in a whole new way.
Currently I am in my third semester of college, pursuing a degree to become a Physical Therapist Assistant. My prerequisites are almost done, so next year I can apply to the program. And as a surprise to myself, I am holding a 4.0 GPA, which I never thought I could manage. Going to school while raising a family is a tremendous challenge, but I love what I am learning. Most of all, CART (closed-caption real time) has been an asset for me during my classes. To illustrate, a translator types every word that is said in the classroom, so I can follow on a computer screen. I never realized how much I was missing in the classrooms until I received these services. My choice of career comes from a passion I have on helping people that need assistance to function in todays society. Also I am a believer that being active helps your mind, body, and spirit.
I believe my cochlear implant gave me the confidence to pursue new goals, which in turn helped my self-esteem. As I continue my journey through school and life, my fear of the unknown is no longer scary. My faith in God is stronger, and I realized being Deaf is not disabling, I needed to get out of my comfort zone,to experience what God has planned for me. So far, God's plans have been a roller coaster ride, challenging me everyway possible. But, through acceptance, patience, and asking for help when I need it, I am enjoying the ride.
As of right now, I am only getting mapped (reprogramed) twice a year. My testing show remarkable improvement in speech recognition as well as sounds. Although, I still struggle with background noise and large crowds. And there are moments the phone can cause anxiety at times, thank god for email, texting, and cap-tel phones. There are a few new noises that I discovered that I love to hear....barbells dropping on the floor, the music when I workout, and the ticking of the WOD time clock on 3,2,1 GO! For those of you that are wondering what I am describing, CrossFit, my other passion I have that has also changed me. I used to wear my old hearing aid, but I was missing out on what my coaches were saying as well as hearing everyone talk at the gym. Thankfully, I found a headband that allows me to wear the implant and helps keep in place as I race against the clock. CrossFit helped me get stronger inside and out as well as prepare me mentally for challenges.
I hope it will not be another year before I write again in my blog, but time sure does tick by when you are having fun. My life is good and I am grateful for all God has blessed me with this year. Overall, hearing a new way has enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.
Currently I am in my third semester of college, pursuing a degree to become a Physical Therapist Assistant. My prerequisites are almost done, so next year I can apply to the program. And as a surprise to myself, I am holding a 4.0 GPA, which I never thought I could manage. Going to school while raising a family is a tremendous challenge, but I love what I am learning. Most of all, CART (closed-caption real time) has been an asset for me during my classes. To illustrate, a translator types every word that is said in the classroom, so I can follow on a computer screen. I never realized how much I was missing in the classrooms until I received these services. My choice of career comes from a passion I have on helping people that need assistance to function in todays society. Also I am a believer that being active helps your mind, body, and spirit.
I believe my cochlear implant gave me the confidence to pursue new goals, which in turn helped my self-esteem. As I continue my journey through school and life, my fear of the unknown is no longer scary. My faith in God is stronger, and I realized being Deaf is not disabling, I needed to get out of my comfort zone,to experience what God has planned for me. So far, God's plans have been a roller coaster ride, challenging me everyway possible. But, through acceptance, patience, and asking for help when I need it, I am enjoying the ride.
As of right now, I am only getting mapped (reprogramed) twice a year. My testing show remarkable improvement in speech recognition as well as sounds. Although, I still struggle with background noise and large crowds. And there are moments the phone can cause anxiety at times, thank god for email, texting, and cap-tel phones. There are a few new noises that I discovered that I love to hear....barbells dropping on the floor, the music when I workout, and the ticking of the WOD time clock on 3,2,1 GO! For those of you that are wondering what I am describing, CrossFit, my other passion I have that has also changed me. I used to wear my old hearing aid, but I was missing out on what my coaches were saying as well as hearing everyone talk at the gym. Thankfully, I found a headband that allows me to wear the implant and helps keep in place as I race against the clock. CrossFit helped me get stronger inside and out as well as prepare me mentally for challenges.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
A New Year with New Goals
Hard to believe that a year has passed and a new year is just beginning. So much has transpired over the last year for me. I was able to get out of my comfort zone and investigate what a cochlear implant might do for me. I am one of those people that have a hard time with change and the feelings that go along with change. Fear is one of the biggest feelings that I have when it comes to making a change. I have learned that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. In other words I am already telling myself how something is going to plan out before I even do it. I had to learn to trust God and to practice my faith when fear would take a hold of me. When I let go and trust God to walk with me through my fear it always turns out much better than I predicted. My decsion to get the implant was a very thought out process with the support of my family, friends and God. Just one little step out of my comfort zone has allowed me to have a much more enjoyable life today.
Some of my new goals that I am going to work on this year is staying positive and not dwell on negativity all the time.There is always a positive in a negative situation. It is not always about why a situation didn't work out but, what life lesson do I need to learn from this. I am also going to look into going back to college. I am feeling more confidant with my hearing since I have my cochlear implant. I am going to start by learning sign language since I have never been taught how to sign. Growing up I was taught how to lip read and use my hearing aids to my best of my ability. I went to regular public schools and got mainstreamed with help on the side to go over some of my classes. I was the only deaf girl growing up in all of my schools. I went to a very small town school to graduating with a big class of around 300. Even though I learned to adapt very well I was still very nervous about exploring what that big world had in store for me after high school. Long story short here I am many years later and with a lot more confidence with pursuing more education for me. I am going to be realistic about goals I set for myself. I am going into this year with no expectations and work on following what God has planned for me.
I was truly blessed in 2011 when I received the cochlear implant by Med El. It has made a big impact in my life in such a very short time since I got the device turned on. I still have a very long journey ahead of me with some bumps along the way with having a implant. The risks for me outweigh the benefits this amazing device has given me. I am excited to begin 2012 with new goals and a more positive outlook on the what the year will bring. I wish everyone a peaceful, healthy and blessed New Year!
I was truly blessed in 2011 when I received the cochlear implant by Med El. It has made a big impact in my life in such a very short time since I got the device turned on. I still have a very long journey ahead of me with some bumps along the way with having a implant. The risks for me outweigh the benefits this amazing device has given me. I am excited to begin 2012 with new goals and a more positive outlook on the what the year will bring. I wish everyone a peaceful, healthy and blessed New Year!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
'Tis the Season
The count down is on... Christmas in 5 days!! It is such a busy time of year with all the chaotic of preparing for this special day. Getting the presents, traveling, parties, cooking and the list goes on. I will have to admit I just love all the craziness that comes with it. It is one of my favorite holidays to be with those you love most and to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas the birth of Jesus. It is so easy to get caught up in all that "stuff" we have to do for Christmas that we forget the true meaning of what it is really about. For me it's a good time to get out of myself and give to others that may not be able to have a Christmas. The feeling you get when you do something for someone without anything in return is just amazing. I ask God on a daily basis to help me to do his will and to thank him for all the blessings I have received from him.
This is also a holiday that can be very stressful if you have a hearing loss. Trying to hear the sales clerk when Christmas music is blaring from the speakers. Going to a party and having trouble hearing with all the background noise. Having to make a phone call about an order you may have placed and having to ask the person to repeat what they are saying. This is a good time to ask for help or explain to the person that I am talking to that I am deaf. This is not always easy especially when I am in my poor me attitude I would isolate and miss out on everything. I have learned though self discovery that I had to accept and love myself for who I am in order for me to be comfortable to acknowledge my deafness. Most of the time it is never a problem for people to accommodate my needs and to the people that gave me a hard time I just prayed for them. You never know what someone is going through unless you walk in their shoes that is why I try to be kind and understanding to people I interact with. The acceptance of who I am has led me to believe in myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it and ask god for help. I am so very grateful to be on this path that god had put in front of me it is not always easy but, its very rewarding.
This holiday hug your loved ones longer tell them how much they mean to you. Do something kind for someone and not let them know about it. Help someone or a family in need this year for Christmas. Most importantly thank god for all of your blessings you have received. Wishing all of you a very blessed holiday!! Merry Christmas!
This is also a holiday that can be very stressful if you have a hearing loss. Trying to hear the sales clerk when Christmas music is blaring from the speakers. Going to a party and having trouble hearing with all the background noise. Having to make a phone call about an order you may have placed and having to ask the person to repeat what they are saying. This is a good time to ask for help or explain to the person that I am talking to that I am deaf. This is not always easy especially when I am in my poor me attitude I would isolate and miss out on everything. I have learned though self discovery that I had to accept and love myself for who I am in order for me to be comfortable to acknowledge my deafness. Most of the time it is never a problem for people to accommodate my needs and to the people that gave me a hard time I just prayed for them. You never know what someone is going through unless you walk in their shoes that is why I try to be kind and understanding to people I interact with. The acceptance of who I am has led me to believe in myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it and ask god for help. I am so very grateful to be on this path that god had put in front of me it is not always easy but, its very rewarding.
This holiday hug your loved ones longer tell them how much they mean to you. Do something kind for someone and not let them know about it. Help someone or a family in need this year for Christmas. Most importantly thank god for all of your blessings you have received. Wishing all of you a very blessed holiday!! Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Sky's The Limit
Over the last few weeks I have discovered that there are so many helpful resources out there for the deaf and hard of hearing people. I have found support groups and websites that have given me valuable information on how to help me achieve more out of life. I have found better ways to handle the phone, to enjoy going to the movies, and how to ask for help when I need it. I had a lot of fear about not being able to accomplish things because of my deafness. I was afraid to try something out of my comfort zone that might challenge me. I always had fear of the unknown and the fear of I am not good enough.
I took a giant leap of faith when I decided to get the cochlear implant. This was a huge change that I knew was going to have big impact in my life. I am so grateful before I choose this path that I renewed my faith in god. I do believe that my faith has helped me in so many ways on this journey that I am on. I have learned about acceptance, patience, compassion and to trust god. To trust him that I will always be cared for and loved by him. It is up to me to do the footwork that I need to do to get that guidance. I know that when I fall he is there to pick me back up and try all over again. There are times when I know what the blessings of being deaf are. To be able to enjoy silence and see the beauty around me and to be able to teach my children anything is possible no matter what your limits are.
I am learning that the sky's the limit for me now. It's a big world out there with so many opportunities for me now that I ever thought possible. There are always going to be challenges for me but, I have learned anything is possible with god.
I took a giant leap of faith when I decided to get the cochlear implant. This was a huge change that I knew was going to have big impact in my life. I am so grateful before I choose this path that I renewed my faith in god. I do believe that my faith has helped me in so many ways on this journey that I am on. I have learned about acceptance, patience, compassion and to trust god. To trust him that I will always be cared for and loved by him. It is up to me to do the footwork that I need to do to get that guidance. I know that when I fall he is there to pick me back up and try all over again. There are times when I know what the blessings of being deaf are. To be able to enjoy silence and see the beauty around me and to be able to teach my children anything is possible no matter what your limits are.
I am learning that the sky's the limit for me now. It's a big world out there with so many opportunities for me now that I ever thought possible. There are always going to be challenges for me but, I have learned anything is possible with god.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A funfilled weekend
I received an invitation to go to a HLAA (Hearing Loss Association of America) Christmas party over the weekend and what an amazing time that was! It was really neat to meet people with all types of hearing losses and how they manage in the hearing world. To be able to relate with someone who goes through the same difficulties as I do it is such a relief to know that I am not alone. I sometimes forget how difficult somethings can be when I am doing everything I can to function like a hearing person. I get frustrated when I can't make a simple phone call or when I can't hear what someone is saying. It feels so good to get support from other people who understand how you feel. They made me and my family feel so welcome! They are all such an inspiration to me I am so truly blessed to have met them.
Also last week I got remapped with a new program for my cochlear implant. They added some more deeper tones and it's an adjustment. Sometimes really deep sounds can be very jumbled but, as the days have moved on its getting better. It is always a surprise when I go and get readjusted. I never know what I might be hearing differently or what new sounds I may hear. I am getting better with talking to someone in a noisy room. I have a remote that can actually help fade out some of those background noises. Its a really neat little tool that I have. I am an avid lipreader and I am trying to turn myself away from the person to try to hear what they are saying. A lot of work for me but, with help from the Harry Potter book CD's I am practicing with my listening. I love Harry Potter books and I will be working my way up the Twilight books on CD's next. I am getting really good hearing the British Accent I just LOVE they way they speak!
To end my great weekend I was able to go out with some great friends and see what dance club music sounded like. It was hard to hear the words but, I did enjoy feeling the beat under my feet out on the dance floor. One nice advantage that I still have is turning my device down or turning it off if its too much sound for me. It was a great weekend of exploring new sounds and meeting inspiring people!
Also last week I got remapped with a new program for my cochlear implant. They added some more deeper tones and it's an adjustment. Sometimes really deep sounds can be very jumbled but, as the days have moved on its getting better. It is always a surprise when I go and get readjusted. I never know what I might be hearing differently or what new sounds I may hear. I am getting better with talking to someone in a noisy room. I have a remote that can actually help fade out some of those background noises. Its a really neat little tool that I have. I am an avid lipreader and I am trying to turn myself away from the person to try to hear what they are saying. A lot of work for me but, with help from the Harry Potter book CD's I am practicing with my listening. I love Harry Potter books and I will be working my way up the Twilight books on CD's next. I am getting really good hearing the British Accent I just LOVE they way they speak!
To end my great weekend I was able to go out with some great friends and see what dance club music sounded like. It was hard to hear the words but, I did enjoy feeling the beat under my feet out on the dance floor. One nice advantage that I still have is turning my device down or turning it off if its too much sound for me. It was a great weekend of exploring new sounds and meeting inspiring people!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
A New Beginning
I have decided to start blogging about my journey on what i am experiencing in life with a cochlear implant. It has only been two weeks since I have had my implant turned on but, I have discovered so much in that short of time. It is a journey that has taught me to have faith in god and be grateful for all I have. To appreciate all the small things that life has to offer.
I can still remember what that day was like when they first turned on my implant. I was nervous and scared but, deep down inside I knew god had me in his care. If he got me this far he will help me get through the rest of this. The first sound I heard was a beep and it was the clearest beep i have heard! I was getting very excited to see what the next process was. Sure enough as all the mapping was done it was time to see what i could hear. When my audiologist ask me what i was hearing and to hear my response back to her was just amazing!! I never heard my voice so clear with all the different pitches. My hearing aids compressed sound so much that I was missing so much sound. There are no words to really describe that moment it was just amazing and I felt so blessed to have received this gift.
When I got to hear my children's voices after I had my implant turned on I just had tears of joy! I was able to recognize the differences in their voices not unlike my hearing aid that made them sound the same. I never realized how noisy it is to eat! The clatter of the silverware and the sound it makes when it touches the plate. I have also realized i am a noisy eater with the chewing of food and smacking of the lips! I had to get used to the new sounds the car was making. I never knew I had a safety feature on my van that beeped when my trunk was opening. I got to enjoy hearing the crackle and snaps the fireplace makes I just love hearing that! The Harley still sounded as good as ever!!!! Nice to be able to put a helmet on without feedback I used to get from my hearing aid. Hearing music was very different on the radio than a cd or a live band. I am getting better with the radio as I have been practicing listening. I have been using Bon Jovi Wanted Dead or Alive lyrics and song to practice listening to the words and hearing the music. The band at my church sounds just amazing! Hearing the changes in the drums and figuring out what instrument is playing is all new to me. I still have challenges with it but, I love challenge just makes me try harder. So many new sounds in the world that I know!
My cochlear implant does not give me normal hearing I will always be deaf. It is mechanical but, I have gotten used to that and it is not so noticeable anymore. It does give me a more enjoyable life and to hear the clarity of sounds in a lot of ranges. It is one of the best decisions that i ever made to get this implant done. I could not of done it without help from my family, friends and god. I am excited more than ever to go out into this world to explore and to see what god has in store for me!
I can still remember what that day was like when they first turned on my implant. I was nervous and scared but, deep down inside I knew god had me in his care. If he got me this far he will help me get through the rest of this. The first sound I heard was a beep and it was the clearest beep i have heard! I was getting very excited to see what the next process was. Sure enough as all the mapping was done it was time to see what i could hear. When my audiologist ask me what i was hearing and to hear my response back to her was just amazing!! I never heard my voice so clear with all the different pitches. My hearing aids compressed sound so much that I was missing so much sound. There are no words to really describe that moment it was just amazing and I felt so blessed to have received this gift.
When I got to hear my children's voices after I had my implant turned on I just had tears of joy! I was able to recognize the differences in their voices not unlike my hearing aid that made them sound the same. I never realized how noisy it is to eat! The clatter of the silverware and the sound it makes when it touches the plate. I have also realized i am a noisy eater with the chewing of food and smacking of the lips! I had to get used to the new sounds the car was making. I never knew I had a safety feature on my van that beeped when my trunk was opening. I got to enjoy hearing the crackle and snaps the fireplace makes I just love hearing that! The Harley still sounded as good as ever!!!! Nice to be able to put a helmet on without feedback I used to get from my hearing aid. Hearing music was very different on the radio than a cd or a live band. I am getting better with the radio as I have been practicing listening. I have been using Bon Jovi Wanted Dead or Alive lyrics and song to practice listening to the words and hearing the music. The band at my church sounds just amazing! Hearing the changes in the drums and figuring out what instrument is playing is all new to me. I still have challenges with it but, I love challenge just makes me try harder. So many new sounds in the world that I know!
My cochlear implant does not give me normal hearing I will always be deaf. It is mechanical but, I have gotten used to that and it is not so noticeable anymore. It does give me a more enjoyable life and to hear the clarity of sounds in a lot of ranges. It is one of the best decisions that i ever made to get this implant done. I could not of done it without help from my family, friends and god. I am excited more than ever to go out into this world to explore and to see what god has in store for me!
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